Welcome Human

[philosophy_made_stupid]

 

For a long time philosophy has been for smart people.  Fie! I say to that. We must reclaim the word stupid.  And we must make philosophy easy to understand for the stupid.  Philosophy is the water of life, and you don't need to be smart in order to get drunk.  So let's inebriate ourselves on philosophy watered down for even the most stupid, the most crass, the most venial.  That's right, life is a cabaret old chum, and that means a few keg stands of higher learning.  A few keg stands where we can drink the long draught of philosophy.

We're regular folks here, not too bright, but we work hard. Sometimes we enter into fugue states and we wake up on big piles of cash and wonder where did this money come from? --- I hope I didn't kill anyone.  Sure smells like I did.  But I digress. Philosophy is like noodles --- if you don't eat, you die.  And dying isn't fun, and it isn't philosophical.  That's what philosophy teaches us.

On this blog, I plan on dumbing down the greatest philosophers of the ages so that even the stupidest people can understand them.  These are names that you have even heard of, even if you live in a box under the front door.  Plato, Nietzsche, and Jordan Peterson to name a few.  These great philosophers sure had a lot to say, but we don't really need to understand them in their depths, rather we can understand  them in their broadest outlines, honeycombed with inaccuracies.  Let's begin.

Plato introduced a Hegelian thesis.  He made it clear that everything is fated to be, because dreams are the real reality.  That's why on the back of every dollar bill there is an unfinished pyramid with an eye on top of it:



You have to understand this to understand philosophy.  So Plato wrote that everything --- down to the smallest detail --- is orchestrated by fate.  Fate rules everything, and nothing is left to chance.  A careful reading of his Medusa dialogs makes this clear.  There is fate and fate alone, the eye of the money watches everything below and that eye does not blink.  Socrates also believed this, and that's why Socrates ate the hemlock poison.  That's because he understood fate.

The idea that nothing we do is chance comes from Plato and Socrates.  Every little detail of life is written to be.  According to this most ancient philosophy it is preordained that I am writing this, and every action, even every fart must be.  If we don't fart on time, the entire structure of the universe could rupture.  This comes right out of Plato, such as his famous Pegasus argument.

Now we can move on.  To Nietzsche:



Let's remember that we are Hegelians.  For Plato's thesis we have Nietzsche's antithesis. Nietzsche wrote that we are all supermen, and that we have super powers that we can create through exercising our minds and bodies.  That's because we live in a totally meaningless universe, that doesn't make any sense.  Because of this there are lots of supervillains and the only person who can fight them is you.   Nietzsche believed that Plato was wrong.  We don't have fate, we only have the Triumph of the Will.  Fate according to Nietzsche is the opium of the masses, and we need to bust through the walls of the cosmos and be better than other people.  Nietzsche was a capitalist and a factory owner who employed and exploited many millions of people.  He was a hard man, but we owe the modern world to this inimitable genius.

Now we can move on to the next great philosopher, Jordan Peterson:



Sometimes it's important to save the best for last.  Jordan Peterson is the Hegelian synthesis between Plato and Nietzsche.  His philosophy is one of pragmatism, something totally ignored by every other philosopher.  Peterson after fighting fascism for many years on Canadian colleges decided he needed to speak and many came to listen.  He disagrees with Plato's insistence of predestination and he also disagrees with Nietzsche's belief in literal superheroes.  Rather Peterson takes the best of both Plato and Nietzsche and creates a philosophy that we mere mortals can live by:

  

With these Rules there is no longer any need for philosophical debate, because now all the questions are answered.  But just as the Bare Naked Ladies sing that they would still eat cheap macaroni and cheese even if they had a million dollars, we can still argue philosophy simply because it feels good to feel my mouth move.  

Now my lads, cads, and ladies the floor is open to discuss philosophy in such ways that even a subnormals can understand and participate.  Because at the end of the day, philosophy is not about what you know, it's about making ourselves feel good with words.  Philosophy is the food of the soul, and sometimes that food is drive-through and sometimes it's mac 'n cheese.  Let's dig in.

Comments

[randomactsofkarmasc]

Ooo, this will be fun! I know I don't want predestination to be true. It would be nice if we really were superpeople, but I really don't think we are. And I haven't read Peterson yet, so I don't have any comments to make about him. :-)

[philosophy_made_stupid]

Funny! thanks for this and welcome aboard!